Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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