I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
