Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
