I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
