Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
