she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
