you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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