He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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