my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
