you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
