So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
