It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I need to calm my uterus...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
