I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
