Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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