ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
