I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
