he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
All the doctor said was why
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
