She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
