Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
