The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
