i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
