I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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