I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I enjoy the company of your penis
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
