I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
