i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
