I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
