Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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