He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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