wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
