I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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