Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
