Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
