I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
