dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
