two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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