I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
