I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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