He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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