Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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