I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
