I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
