No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
