Please, let me fuck your mom
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
