Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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