I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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