didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
