You're completely useless in the revolution.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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