I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
