so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
