He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
