it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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